you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
In America we eat man semen.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
