I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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