Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
