operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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