i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
