True but thats because hes a fetus.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
