The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
