I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
