But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
