you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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