I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
