I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
