escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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