do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
