Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
