He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
