i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
