32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All the doctor said was why
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
