This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
