i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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