Kiss
Puke
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
