ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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