Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this boner is exhausting
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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