Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
