Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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