So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
