i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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