You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
