K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
