my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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