I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
