tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
