Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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