At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
