True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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