There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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