You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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