I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
