i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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