she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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