i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
