So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
