This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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