Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
