So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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