He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And then my night got REAL pukey
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
