i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
