Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
pray to the hookup gods
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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