:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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