Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
