Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
