ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
